Some common misconceptions about mindfulness
Mindfulness is not the same as relaxation, and is not intended to be relaxing although it can be! It is not necessary to feel relaxed to be mindful. In fact, important insights can develop when we are able to hold difficult emotions such as anger or sadness in awareness, moment by moment. It is possible to be mindful of anything or any situation, no matter what it is: doing the dishes, sorting the laundry, cooking or swimming.
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Mindfulness doesn't involve trying to change what is present. In times of difficulty mindfulness involves changing our relationship to what is present rather than allowing any difficulties that we face to eclipse or diminish our sense of being. Over the course of our lives, many of us face challenges that are are not amenable to change, no matter how much we would wish otherwise.
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Only that day dawns to which we are awake
- Henry David Thoreau - |
Mindfulness involves being able to hold difficulties in a wider, more spacious awareness, where we can acknowledge any challenges but can continue to see the "whole picture". Importantly, mindfulness is not about clearing the mind or eliminating thinking, either. Thinking is just what our wonderfully sophisticated minds do and it is not possible to stop thoughts from coming. Mindfulness involves learning to work skilfully with challenging mind states, which inevitably involve unhelpful thinking.
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Lastly, it is also important to say that mindfulness isn't for everyone! It can be quite challenging to learn, and it requires commitment to both attend the classes and carry out the home practice consistently. There is good quality research that shows that the benefits that people obtain from a course are related to the amount of formal meditation practice completed in between each class. Try to give yourself the best chance of getting all you can from the class by ensuring you have the time to do both. If you don't, you'll never find out if mindfulness could have helped you.
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